There comes a time in every man’s life when he sits down to watch a movie, and within the first five minutes, maybe less, his mind is screaming, “Oh my fucking god… What piece of shit am I watching right now?”
Thanks to Fury that time has come again…
THE “STORY”:
Lunatic cop Ronan Pierce (Michael McCarthy) rages through the criminal underworld in pursuit of the cruel Cartel that killed his daughter and kidnapped his wife.
The makers of this “movie” would have you believe that it is a tribute, a salute, a love letter to the daring graphic novels that inspired its creation. Well now…
Watching this “movie” was like listening to a CD of your mate’s band for the first time only to find out that they suck. And I mean REALLY suck. From start to finish you are frozen in silent horror. Every second brings another wave of agony to your existence. The only upside is that Fury is not your mate’s band, so you can kiss that excruciating fake smile and high-pitched voice of over-enthusiastic approval goodbye!
Just about everything is wrong with this movie. The quality of ineptitude is forever varying. Sometimes a shot can be almost on the point, others make you wonder if they’ve ever even held a damn camera before. But what’s genuinely bizarre is the spectacle of an entire cast of people who can’t act for shit trying to overact??? The eyes are bulging. The teeth are grinding. The veins are going. They look like sweaty-ass cavemen after being driven mad by hours of painful constipation. Nobody does it better, or worse… than the lead himself. Only blood ties could inspire that level or dedication, and humiliation.
LAST WORDS:
As a love letter to graphic novels this “movie” is a joke. Films that pay tribute are never perfect, but they are also never this feckless. I don’t want to talk/write about this “movie” anymore. Just let me get a butter knife and a few wads of kitchen roll as I figure out how to safely remove this steaming turd from my DVD player. I fear, however, that it may never be removed from my mind…
Thanks to Fury that time has come again…
THE “STORY”:
Lunatic cop Ronan Pierce (Michael McCarthy) rages through the criminal underworld in pursuit of the cruel Cartel that killed his daughter and kidnapped his wife.
The makers of this “movie” would have you believe that it is a tribute, a salute, a love letter to the daring graphic novels that inspired its creation. Well now…
Watching this “movie” was like listening to a CD of your mate’s band for the first time only to find out that they suck. And I mean REALLY suck. From start to finish you are frozen in silent horror. Every second brings another wave of agony to your existence. The only upside is that Fury is not your mate’s band, so you can kiss that excruciating fake smile and high-pitched voice of over-enthusiastic approval goodbye!
Just about everything is wrong with this movie. The quality of ineptitude is forever varying. Sometimes a shot can be almost on the point, others make you wonder if they’ve ever even held a damn camera before. But what’s genuinely bizarre is the spectacle of an entire cast of people who can’t act for shit trying to overact??? The eyes are bulging. The teeth are grinding. The veins are going. They look like sweaty-ass cavemen after being driven mad by hours of painful constipation. Nobody does it better, or worse… than the lead himself. Only blood ties could inspire that level or dedication, and humiliation.
LAST WORDS:
As a love letter to graphic novels this “movie” is a joke. Films that pay tribute are never perfect, but they are also never this feckless. I don’t want to talk/write about this “movie” anymore. Just let me get a butter knife and a few wads of kitchen roll as I figure out how to safely remove this steaming turd from my DVD player. I fear, however, that it may never be removed from my mind…
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