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Curse of the Witches Doll - Rating: *

1/31/2018

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Picture
THE STORY:
Adeline and daughter Chloe seek refuge at an old manor during wartimes. But soon after Chloe is found talking to a mysterious doll which appears to move on its own, the young girl goes missing.

If you’ve looked into viewing this little film you may have wondered the following: Is it a Conjuring rip-off? No. Is it an Annabelle rip-off? Sorry, but evil head-spinning dolls have been around a lot longer than that bitch. But I will say this, (attempts best Roger Jackson impression) “You’re gonna wish it was a Conjuring/Annabelle rip-off!”

Despite the movie’s many failings, which are too many to list, the better acting abilities belong to Helen Crevel as Adeline, a very capable leading lady. Through lesser screen partners and weakly written dialogue, she soldiers through. Let her talent pull you to safety as you witness the utter tedium that is this movie suffer from the snowball effect. Except that isn’t snow you’re watching getting bigger and bigger!

I was happy to see Michelle Archer in the mix as Doris. You may know her as Miss Perkins from the Dan Allen directed 2017 slasher remake, Unhinged. She comes in at a close 2nd acting wise, as she does seem to have a knack for losing herself in the characters that she portrays.

As for the witch’s doll itself, I don’t know what in the flying hell they were thinking. It isn’t creepy. It just looks plain stupid as it stands there during those dreadfully executed suspense shots. The damn thing belongs on the cover of a Scary Movie DVD for crying out loud! This is the doll that you see in the parody of an evil doll movie. All that and I’m pretty sure its ridiculous design is responsible for those 3 million trailer views that are being boasted about.

LAST WORDS:
Making a dismally bad horror movie is wicked enough, but making a dismally bad horror movie that is at least half an hour longer than it should be is a curse in itself.
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