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Capture Kill Release - Rating: * (Reviewed by Louis Stephenson)

3/13/2017

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Picture
​Some psycho chick and her boyfriend to film their first murder, but things don’t go as they planned.  There’s trouble in paradise…or hell…
 
The fact that found footage films are still being released after the embarrassing failure that is Blair Witch (2016) is not the scariest thing about C-K-R.  No, not by a long shot.  The most terrifying thing about this movie is that within the first 10 to 20 seconds you are made painfully aware that you will be spending the entire duration of the film with the most fucking annoying lead character that I have seen in horror in a long time.
 
C-K-R and its dialogue show an embarrassing lack of knowledge in horror movie history.  They were even stupid enough put this fuck up in the trailer.  The very same annoying lead utters the line: “It’s like prom night for murder…”  Are…You…Fucking…Kidding…Me?!!!  If it’s meant to be a joke, it’s a BAD one.  A movie killer with no real concept of classic horror movie killers?  I don’t think so.  Fuck you.
 
I don’t know about you but I’m way beyond the point of getting fucking sick of the fact that any dumb fuck can just pick up a camera, run around with their retard friends screaming and crying with absolutely no talent or skill whatsoever, before chopping it together and calling it a horror movie.
 
The whole movie is just so irritating to watch.  The whiny conversations are unbearable.  This might as well be Lord of the Rings because why the dude would go within 500 feet of that chick defies all believability.  Try it if you must, but I can guarantee you’ll be spending every 5 seconds thinking to yourself: Why the fuck am I still watching this?
 
No point on commenting on the camerawork.  It’s found footage, so you know it’s shit!
 
LAST WORDS
Thanks to Capture Kill Release I will now hate found footage movies until the next decent one emerges.  Sigh… And those are few and far between.  Few and far between…
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