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Butcher The Bakers - Rating: * * 1/2 (Reviewed by Louis Stephenson)

1/20/2018

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Picture
THE STORY
Thanks to a half-eaten penis sugar cookie, two no good bakers, Sam and Martin – played by Sean Walsh & Ryan Matthew Zeigler – are roped into hunting down and killing rogue grim reaper, Dragomir (Mike Behrens) who is picking off the souls of the townspeople for his own sinister agenda.

Sam and Martin certainly make for a likeable pair of idiots as the two actors seem to bounce off one another fairly well. However, I’m tempted to call this horror comedy a spoof because the bulk of the younger cast can’t seem to keep it together, or take the material seriously. Understandable, but that said, they’re clearly having a blast making this movie and if you’re in the right mood, the vibe given off can be quite infectious. And by the right mood, of course I mean drunk and stoned.

Because Butcher just screams stoner movie. It has most of the tell-tale signs. Slacker lead characters, questionable sugary treats, a plot so simple a child could follow it, dumb-ass conversations, even dumber fight scenes and the munchies. And yet funnily enough, there is a distinct lack of reggae music and the weed itself. Bakers who get baked? Was it too obvious a direction?

There are definitely some funny moments in there. But in the same vein as any lame-ass, over-hyped horror movie, all of those moments are in the trailer. The film’s own director and co-writer, Tyler Amm turns in a good performance as the town nut. Meanwhile, main villain Dragomir, who remains perpetually moist throughout the movie, or greasy, not sure which, put me in mind of Rollo from the History channel’s Vikings on crack.

I’m searching for a script editor credit and as of yet I can’t find one, and it shows because the majority of Butcher’s scenes are dialogue heavy. And on more than just a few occasions there are those unnecessary and just plain awkward lines that disrupt the flow so badly, it’s a miracle that they even bring it back around. Also, exposition that isn’t clever or ironic is bad enough, but the exposition here about events from the past that are neither relevant nor funny is just painful.

LAST WORDS:
Watch it drunk. Watch it stoned. Watch it with Nachos and cheese.
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