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Bonejangles - Rating: * (Reviewed by Craig Beecham)

7/29/2017

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So, what can I say about Bonejangles, quite alot actually and most of it bad. Ok, so I was slightly intrigued after reading the concept, unstoppable killing machine takes on the undead but man this movie was a damp squid.

The set-up goes like this, Bonejangles is a known serial killer but due to him being unstoppable against attack he is free to walk the streets killing hundreds of people. Now, the intial set-up of a task force catching Bonejangles is absolutely hilarious, are we actually suppose to believe these people are cops?! The job advert must of said "stoners only". After using an electric shock tactic our mis-cast team of police have to transport Bonejangles across country to a place called Argento (see what they did there?), unbeknowest to them that the town of Argento has been cursed by a Witch and once a year a ritual of death and dismemberment takes place. Once the ravished sex slaves are unleashed our heros have no choice but to release the ultimate weapon - Bonejangles.

The movie boasts the talents of horror vet Reggie Bannister, who only has a few minutes of screen time the entire movie, which left me feeling a bit cheated if i'm honest. There is no one else of note that you would recognize and the acting is sub-par, even for a movie this trashy. So, the important stuff are there any good kills? well sadly the answer is no, most of the action takes place off camera (you, guitar smash kill!!) and when we are treated to some gore the CGI is terrible. There is one funny moment when one of the characters goes all Ash from Evil Dead but unfortuntely ends up putting the chainsaw through his own head! Again though the effects let this scene down in the end.

​As you have probably picked up in the above, there are lots of in your face horror shout outs, one of our characters is named after our very own Michael Myers and with the above Argento & Evil Dead mentions it's all a bit forced and begging. I wanted to like this movie and Bonejangles was a cool character but i'd rather spend a romantic night with the Witch of Argento than watch this movie again.

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