2017 sees the 30th anniversary of WWE's second best PPV event of the year, Royal Rumble. As a fan of WWE from a young age the rumble match is the one match I as a fan look forward to, it sets the pace for the whole year ahead and starts the road the Wrestlemania.

The True Story of the Royal Rumble is a look at the history of the ppv and the reasons behind it. It is just a shame that WWE have started going down the route of Behind the Music style documentaries instead of the old fashioned way of doing things, but hey ho.

The documentary was pretty good, we got to see behind the scenes stories from some of the biggest names in WWE like Ric Flair, Shawn Micheals and the first Rumble winner Hacksaw Jim Duggan. This is coupled with the events of the 2016 Royal Rumble which saw Triple H become WWE champion. What was interesting to see is the scenes of Royal Rumble 2014 & 2015 which saw very unpopular wins from Batista and of course Roman Reigns.

The selection of matches were fine, I would have liked to see the street fight between Triple H and Cactus Jack but thats my own personal taste but they were fine as a whole. I'm not sure what Blu-Ray extras you get on the Blu-Ray editon but fingers crossed it appeared on that one.

A worth while watch, but maybe wait till it goes down in price a little.

Back when I was a wee lad, I was a big fan of Anime. The idea of cartoons made of adults and my parents had no bloody clue was a rush (as it would be right?). The Guyver was one such anime. An ultra violent and totally messed up show which boosted my love for the Anime sub-genre of animation for years to come. What I never knew though is that in 1991 there was an American live action version of this beloved animation….. and oh boy is this film a huge bundle of cheese.
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So the film revolves around an alien armour which gives its wearer superhuman powers. When a scientist leans of the suits power he tries to get it to Max Reid (played by Star Wars legend Mark Hamill) his contact in the CIA. Before he can get to him the scientist is killed by a….well….a guy who turns into a strange fish creature (think Power Rangers style man in a costume kind of a job) played by The Hill Have Eyes villain Michael Berryman. The package ends up being a dud which sees the suit falls into the hands of young Sean, a weedy teen who is in love with the scientist’s daughter Mizky. With the creatures trying to reclaim the suit, Sean is forced to use his new powers to protect the woman he loves and stop them before it is too late!!!! It’s you usual B-Movie kind of thing, and this is kinda the films downfall in a way.

The Guyver is nothing like the anime show. It is cheap, badly acted and it looks and feels like it should be an early 80’s horror film, however it doesn’t make it a bad film. The creature designs look pretty much like adult sized gremlins, they aren’t scary but it is very much of the era. The shame is that the actors playing them are bloody terrible. The fight scenes are similar to those you would find in the Power Rangers show or in those old kung-fu or Godzilla movies and this ain’t all that bad overall, and I can even forgive the costume designs and put it down to the era the film was filmed, but the acting is my main annoyance. The worst actor for this is Good Times star Jimmie Walker who plays the rapping creature Striker, and fuck me he is annoying!

The best acting in this film comes from Mark Hamill, who personally I would have like to see as the man in the suit, but Jack Armstrong, who you may remember from the US show Days of Our Lives, does an okay job as the films lead Sean.

The Guyver is a total mess of a great premise and a great anime. If you have never seen the original anime then this may be and okay little watch if you like your B-Movies.

​THE STORY:
Years after the murder of her mother, a prostitute, Olivia (Suzanna Love) is plagued by feelings brought bubbling to the surface thanks her abusive and unloving husband.  Searching for answers on the dark streets of London, Olivia meets Mike.
 
The only thing more schizophrenic than Olivia herself is this movie.  Either that or…this is yet another slasher from 88’s Slasher Classics Collection that is NOT a goddamn slasher.  Dead of Winter (1987)?  Nice, but no dice!  The Children of the Corn “trilogy” raised more than a few sceptical eyebrows on its announcement.  And Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988)?  It’s funny as fuck.  But seriously?
 
That said, just when I’m about to write director Ulli Lommel off as a one-hit wonder on a whim of careless ignorance a little known gem such as the awfully named Prozzie emerges.  He himself calls it Olivia – the perfect title – in his featured interview.  He looks exactly as you’d expect him to, and sporting THE coolest Mexican sugar skull cowboy hat.
Aside from the opening sequence basically being a rehash of the beginning of The Bogeyman (1980), what Lommel presents us with is a competent and atmospheric romantic thriller.  Shrouded in shadow with a melancholy piano-laden soundtrack, this film succeeds in delivering the seldom-achieved perfect mix of sex and violence.  You can favour Basic Instinct (1992) all you want, and although that elevator scene is pretty gross, mostly people just remember the fucking.  Oh, and Sharon’s open legs.
 
Despite its strong horror leanings, Prozzie presents one of the more plausible depictions of a woman struggling with the tragic death of her mother, as well as what she can do and where she can find justice.  She is a human being, not a cold-blooded killer.  And for that she has her limits.  While its surprisingly small body count will disappoint some, I am actually impressed.  Quite frankly, the hype on the back of its brand new blood-red 88 cover only serves to hinder the quality of this movie.  Why blemish a film that makes such a sweet reference to Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo (1958).
 
LAST WORDS:
I’ll admit I did not expect to like Prozzie.  But I thoroughly enjoyed this particular Lommel movie for all the reasons that I would presume not to.  And for that reason – plus Bogeyman – I just might check out The Devonsville Terror after all.

​THE STORY:
An 8-part anthology tells a strange tale for each of the year’s most celebrated holidays.
 
Earlier this year we were gifted with a rather shocking bundle of great directors directing bad short films in the form of Tales of Halloween (2015).  In the case of Holidays, a much less humourous affair, thankfully the stars shine and the wannabes blackout.  But there are still a couple of surprises along the way.
 
VALENTINE’S DAY – First and foremost I loved Kevin Kolsch & Dennis Widmyer’s work on the slow-burning but gory Starry Eyes (2014).  And here I enjoyed Valentine’s style, despite the overuse of the colour red and the glaring Carrie (1976) influences.  It’s a handsome piece, but ultimately…banal.
 
ST. PATRICK’S DAY – I really did not care for this one.  While the creepy little schoolgirl has one of the freakiest smiles since Dead Silence (2007), the rest of this odd Irish tale just feels like complete and utter horseshit.  The kind of horseshit that makes you think, “Right, if the next segment sucks, I’m wiping my arse with this fucking disc.”  What else could you expect from the director Dracula Untold (2014)?  Wasn’t it just disowned by Universal’s new Monster franchise?  Ouch!
 
EASTER – Directed by The Pact’s (2012) Nicolas McCarthy, I confess that somehow I expected Easter to be the scariest egg in the basket.  Instead it’s just the weirdest.  And the Easter Bunny…just has to be seen to be believed.
 
MOTHER’S DAY – Just skip this one.  Seriously skip it.  You may recall a bloodied arm shooting out of the womb in the trailer?  That split-second is the only interesting scene…
 
FATHER’S DAY – Easily the most suspenseful chapter of the lot.  And while its conclusion is painfully predictable in hindsight, on first watch it had me guessing the darkest of possibilities right up until it was too late for the story’s heroine.
 
HALLOWEEN – You don’t need to worry when you’re in the hands of Kevin Smith, I find.  It’s the only segment that is dedicated to delivering black comedy, and it really does deliver…depending upon your maturity level!
 
CHRISTMAS – I wasn’t expecting much from the director of bland horror-action flicks such as Legion (2010) and Priest (2011), or even Dark Skies (2013)…which is basically an Insidious (2010)/Sinister (2012) wannabe with aliens tacked on.  I went in ready to yawn and roll my eyes in cynicism…  And what do you know, the sneaky bastard pulled it out of the bag!  I don’t know the first thing about Virtual Reality technology, but it plays out a like one of the better episodes from Patricia Arquette’s psychic drama Medium (2005-11).  Joy To The World, indeed!
 
NEW YEAR’S – I’m undecided if they saved the best for last, but they certainly saved the most violent piece to close the show with.  As much as I enjoyed it, frankly I was surprised that something so tame could come from the director of Some Kind of Hate (2015), one of the bloodier DVD releases of this year.  Admittedly I did not watch this anthology in sequence, so whilst its twist is marginally similar to that of Christmas, my fun went unspoiled.
 
LAST WORDS:
Should we blame V/H/S (2012) or ABCs (2012) for the surge in okay-ish horror anthologies in recent years?  I don’t know…  At least this one’s better than Tales of Halloween!

​THE STORY:

​The killer cookie once voiced by the great Gary Busey escapes prison and travels back in time to a 70s roller disco’s last night before its foreclosure.  After losing his time-travelling device, the tiny treat kills time away by bumping off the funky customers in some funked up ways until he can find it again.  Standing in his way is a timid beauty by the name of Cherry, niece to the club’s owner.  She may be shy but inside is roller boogie queen dying to break free.  Oh, and she has telekinetic powers like Carrie…
 
The greatest thing about a psychopath baked into existence with a little cookie dough and a sprinkling of killer comedy is that ain’t nobody can accuse you of taking the cake when the sequels crank up the laugh-o-meter…
 
While the bulk of the acting is almost blasé, the highlight is Kent Fuher aka Jackie Beat as Cherry’s domineering aunt Trixie.  Girl is a sassy, silver-haired firecracker and faux villainess, who stands in the way of her defiant niece at every turn.  Albeit, a less preachy/abusive incarnation of Carrie’s mother.  But beneath that hard-to-crack crust is a proud, All-American gal, trapped somewhere under the debris of a crushing guilt from her past.  Just the fact that Trixie is clearly a drag queen brings a whole other level of hilarity to her performance as she camps it up by lampooning some classic movie starlet roles.
 
There is violence a-plenty, but the special effects are so lame that it’s mostly pitiful schlock.  They’ve even given up on trying to make the little Gingerdead dude creepy.  The voice isn’t great and his new toothy and dopey appearance kind of makes him look like the dumb mogwai from the Gremlin movies.
 
I do feel that some may deserve a fair warning about Cleaver, while it’s all fun and gore, if you’re not a fan of this amped up level of camp-as-daisies ridiculousness, you will straight-up fucking loathe this flick.  The sheer overabundance of 70s roller-boogie inserts are enough to make anyone flip their tits.  And you thought the Carrie (1976) rip-off from Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988).  Just wait till ya getta load of this shit!
 
LAST WORDS:
Sure, you may find plenty to hate about Saturday Night Cleaver, and I wouldn’t blame you.  But if there’s even the slightest chance you want to show the love, I dare you not to smile from ear to ear during the funniest send-up of Lecter & Clarice ever committed to film.  I dare you not to bop your head like a drunken teenager when you hear the words “Run, run, run as fast as you can!”  I dare you not to absolutely love this movie!

THE STORY:

Troubled sleeper, Thomas (Ethan Peck) inherits an old house from an uncle he never knew.  In his dreams he encounters two entities, a sleeping beauty by the name of Briar Rose and a veiled demon.  At the house he encounters Linda (Natalie Hall), a young woman in search of her brother who went missing there.  Apparently his uncle’s home has a terrible past, and somehow its secrets, Briar Rose, the veiled demon and he are all connected...
 
Ah, what fresh hell is this?  Although this movie is a considered improvement, had I known it was directed by the dude behind 2011’s painfully bad horror flick The Evil Inside, this little movie would’ve been sailing through the air towards the nearest bin bag faster than you could say, “Fuck that shit!”
 
Anyways…   the main problem with The Curse of Sleeping Beauty is…Sleeping Beauty!  Why is that part of it even necessary?  For starters it plants expectations of a potentially epic scale that this project was clearly never going to live up to.  I mean seriously.  Once the big twist is out of the way, the movie very quickly reaches its conclusion at 80 minute mark, and instead of feeling like they’ve completed a competent horror fairy tale, it just feels like…they ran out of money…
 
Aside from the closing few seconds, the special effects are great.  Very Silent Hill meets Hellboy.  Briar’s costume design is pretty nifty.  Add in the whole dream factor and you could be reminded of The Cell.  Bruce Davison is in it!  I’ve had a soft spot for him since his turn in Rob Zombie’s The Lords of Salem (2012).  Ethan Peck as Thomas is pretty funny to watch as he appears to have consulted the Keanu Reeves school of acting for this role.  Linda is a cutie that is easily likeable.  So once she, Bruce, Ethan and her ex-boyfriend – an Asian tech wizard by the name of Daniel – band together to solve the curse, what the film actually creates – quite unintentionally – is a rather intriguing setup for a TV series.  It is brief, but they do get some great chemistry going before it all goes to shit.
 
LAST WORDS:
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There’s a lot to forgive here.  Clearly they dreamt too big, which is never a crime.  They use mannequins to rip-off Doctor Who’s weeping angel monsters, which I don’t care about as I’m not a big Who fan…anymore…  And to be fair, the whole classic fairy tale meets horror has never really worked for anyone.  At least not when you are focusing on one tale in particular.

THE STORY:
Parasites, dubbed by the net as #WORMFLU, infect and destroy civilisation.  Two sisters, Emma and Stacey, wait it out in their home.  But things soon begin to get worse when one of them becomes infected…
 
It seems that now, not only are film producers scouring the internet for award-winning short horror films to explode into next summer’s biggest spooky hit – i.e. Lights Out (2016) – they are also trawling the worldwide web for the most popular disgusting videos for ideas.  The parasites in Viral being inspired by rather gross clips of DIY bot fly larvae removal.  So classy right?  Surprisingly enough, the resulting film has plenty of it.  Class, that is.
 
The film keeps its first act interesting by giving it the makeup of a suburban slasher movie with long empty school corridors – Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) – and intruders lurking outside front doors at night – Scream (1996).  Stacey’s buddy CJ is even a cool mix of cliché idiot slasher boyfriends. There’s also an amusing moment where one of the infected vomits on a Troye Sivan lookalike.
 
What I liked most about Viral is that its main cast is not stupid.  They truly stick together and are not driven by the fear and hysteria that surrounds them.  The complete opposites of the moronic, self-obsessed, lovesick gits you would find in movies like Cabin Fever (2002).  Only that level of idiocy can bring about the ridiculous carnage that is missing here.  I’m sure there are those whose attention span has now been whittled down to no longer than a 7-second Vine will find Viral boring, but even history’s greatest death scenes last longer than 7 seconds…
 
The relationship between the two sisters is the key to Viral’s appeal.  The loyalty, the trust, the chemistry, the glaring differences in personality are all there.  Stacey’s insistence that Emma get out of her shiny bubble is a joke that only gets funnier until things get serious.  While Analeigh Tipton may or may not bear the stigma of America’s Next Top Model fame, she continues to prove herself as a capable actress, this film perhaps being her best performance yet, and I hope her rise follows that of starlets such as Kate Mara or Blake Lively.
 
LAST WORDS:
Set off your emergency flare!  Here’s a direct-to-DVD release from Blumhouse that actually isn’t a complete pile of crap.