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AMAZONIA: THE CATHERINE MILES STORY - Rating: * * * * (Reviewed by Louis Stephenson)

8/17/2018

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THE STORY:
A beautiful presentation from all those involved, as 88Films bring us no.42 in The Italian Collection. We watch the events of Catherine’s (Elvire Audrey) ordeal as she regales a courtroom of what took place after the murder of her parents and her subsequent abduction by a tribe of savages.

One of the coolest romantic horror movies I’ve ever seen…

When it comes to films such as Amazonia, there’s a particular bad habit of misrepresentation. For example, the movie tries to emulate Cannibal Holocaust’s notoriety by claiming to be a true story. Only fitting as this picture actually masqueraded as an actual sequel in certain countries at the time of its release. All that bloody violence aside, films such as this and Man From Deep River (1972) are genuinely interesting dramatic tales that have little to do with cannibalism, as advertised, that have been passed up on some deserved praise for the sake of their bad reputations.

Amazonia, perhaps, has the most exciting storyline I’ve come across over the course of my discovery of the infamous cannibal boom. It features betrayal, murder, survival, revenge and love. It even throws in a twist. While Catherine’s slow-grinding vendetta drives the film’s narrative, it is her growing relationships with different members of the tribe that carry the story. Some of the movie’s saddest moments come to pass when she must respect and obey their way of life, which makes for one hell of a heart-breaking conclusion. Elvire’s performance is passable, but she doesn’t really take it up a notch until her big revenge scene towards her story’s end. There’s certainly a fire in those eyes.

Don’t get me wrong, Amazonia has its nasty streak. In fact, the special effects here are much stronger than most of its ‘kind’. I even let out a couple of audible ‘whoa!”s , one being during a head explosion worthy of classic Fulci. There are also some unfortunate animal-on-animal scenes, but it’s the same circle of life / natural selection business you’ll be sure to find on the Discovery Channel. Thankfully there are absolutely no turtle mutilations in sight!

LAST WORDS:
I think what we have here is a beautiful movie and a gripping story with gore and killing that doesn’t really need to be there. It’s still cool. Practical horror effects are my happy place. But do they fit in here? Not necessarily. But they’re here, and they’re not going anywhere, so this just might be one of the coolest romantic horror movies I’ve ever seen.
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Bad Dreams - Rating: * * * 1/2 (Reviewed by Louis Stephenson)

8/13/2018

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THE STORY:
What once was a trailer I’d always seen slotted in next to Fright Night 2 (1988) on a rented VHS from my nearest video store, now appears as no.37 in 88 Films’ Slasher Classics Collection. After surviving the mass suicide of her cult community, Cynthia – played by Jennifer Rubin – awakens from her coma 13 years later to find that their leader, Franklin (Richard Lynch) will not depart for the next world without her. And that he will kill those around her until she joins him in death…


First of all, let’s just get this out of the way. To say that a considerable number of elements of Bad Dreams (1988) don’t scream A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) is like saying that water isn’t wet. But it certainly wasn’t the last supernatural slasher movie set in a psychiatric ward. Cult of Chucky (2017), anyone? And if that’s not enough, take a little piece of advice from Jennifer Rubin herself. During her interview she suggests that fans of her Elm Street character could regard Bad Dreams as a prequel to her unfortunate drug-induced end.


The real shame I felt was the lack of confidence in Franklin’s potential as a standout slasher movie killer. Be it Freddy, Michael or Jason, more often than not they tend to take out their victims in the usual one by one order. But in the case of Franklin, in life this man had the influence and charisma to convince an entire community of men, women and children to burn themselves to death without protest or hesitation. Fuck that! Gimme Freddy any day! At least I will die while having a good night’s rest!


Aside from looking wide-eyed and beautiful, with the occasion blood-curdling scream here and there, Cynthia is quite a closed off character. Aside from poor Miriam and her journalistic aspirations, it’s difficult to care about the other patients in her group of which Cynthia refuses to bond with or even talk to. Some are barely introduced to us at all, yet mere moments later we’re supposed to be affected by their grizzly demise? Luckily, it still works because this picture boasts some pretty grim death scenes and gallons of blood.


Bruce Abbot of Re-Animator (1985) and Bride of Re-Animator (1990) fame plays Dr. Alex Karmen, leader of the patient group and Cynthia’s knight in shining armour. He likes to play that dead serious type, which he does so well with that pointed handsome mug of his. But will he actually get to save the girl this time?


LAST WORDS:
I enjoyed the movie very much for what it was on its own. However, if this picture is doomed to be remembered as just another Elm Street, rip-off, for now I’d say it should at least go down as one of the best, if not the best of them.
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Jurassic Dead - Rating: * * (Reviewed by Chloe Davies)

8/9/2018

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​‘Jurassic Dead’ is a combination between a creature feature and a zombie movie. A mad scientist discovers how to bring dinosaurs from the dead as zombies, and they can also infect humans. While this is a fun premise the film doesn’t quite land for me, and I generally found it boring (although there were a few good moments).


The acting is terrible, even for this kind of movie. Of course, this could be considered a deliberate move to create that B-movie vibe but the group of students in particular didn’t even seem to be having much fun with their roles and their lines were super flat. The military squad were the most enjoyable characters. The coolest part was probably when one of them gets infected (of course they don’t tell anyone else because why would they? Has anyone ever been responsible in a zombie movie?) and they walk out to some awesome rock music playing. So there are some enjoyable moments here and there, but not enough to make me want to watch it again.


The green screen is terrible, sometimes on an ‘Incredible Bulk’ level (especially at the beginning), but the practical effects where they’re used – and I’m assuming the dinosaurs in this are practical because they look like a puppet/animatronic was used in combination with CGI – are actually pretty good. If the special effects had been like this consistently, it could have been improved.


Overall, there are some enjoyable moments in the film as it gets going, particularly from the characters of the military squad, but some of the main actors don’t bring much fun or personality to the table which brings it down. It does get better as the film gets into the action and the two groups of characters meet, but it would have been good to have been interested in the characters from the moment they’re introduced. I’m not asking for a full backstory for these people, just a little charisma would have gone a long way. I went into the film really wanting to like it because who doesn’t love a good B-movie creature feature? Unfortunately it just didn’t hit the mark for me
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Flight 666 - Rating: * * 1/2 (Reviewed by Louis Stephenson)

8/5/2018

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THE STORY:
Passengers on a plane to New York slowly begin to realise that it’s not just the living that have booked a ticket on this flight.

It’s no secret that Asylum has made its bread and butter by ripping off other movies. But I think it would hypocritical to sing that song when both the Insidious and Conjuring universes have been blowing up the box office for the better part of this decade. Not only that, they have each released 4 movies thus far, 2 each of which even have the same director and lead actor. Pot meet kettle.

Written by some guy along with one of the 2 story developers behind 5 Headed Shark Attack (2017). Yeah, you read that right, people. Someone actual thinking went into that movie… I don’t know about you, but I’ve never been more scared in my life!

Shits and giggles aside, these 2 concocted a script with pacing as well as sympathetic characters. Even better, they rose to the challenge of telling a story set entirely on a plane without becoming a bore. No easy task. From this, we have a handful of likeable actors to route for. In particular, our air hostess, Alice – played by Liz Flenning – and young couple in love, Danika & Brandon – Clarissa Thibeaux & Shamar Philippe. The larger group, including Asylum regular Paul Logan, vibe off each other well enough to carry this creepy tale from A to B.

The jump scares are less than hopeless. And the special effects of spooky apparitions outside the plane are the kind of lame, fruitless shite you’d expect from Ghost Whisperer. There is one good moment involving an overhead carry on, but that’s about it. The horror works much better for this movie when the souls materialise into physical form. They feel more like a tangible threat. The way they walk and leer is potentially menacing, but nobody seems to know what to do with them from there to make them any scarier.

LAST WORDS:
Although it is utterly humourless, it is well-written and charming enough to be one Jensen Ackles and a Jared Padalecki away from being lifted from a Supernatural episode reject pile.
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I Saw What You Did - Rating: * * * 1/2 (Reviewed by Louis Stephenson)

8/5/2018

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THE STORY:
Shortly after murdering his wife, Steve Marak (John Ireland) receives a telephone call. A young woman’s voice utters the words ‘I saw what you did’. Unbeknownst to Marak, the call was an innocent prank. Unbeknownst to the caller and her accomplices, Marak is on the hunt to silence the person on the other end of the line…

Hot on the heels of Final Cut Entertainments DVD release of 1964’s The Night Walker comes the next wave in William Castle’s directorial line, the Joan Crawford-starring I Saw What You Did (1965).

Whether it’s for marketability or who knows what, I still find the sheer contrast between certain classic movies and their soundtracks to be utterly bizarre. Of course, in the case of films such as Wes Craven’s notorious Last House on the Left, the sudden flip from rape and murder to cheery tunes and sunshine only aids the picture in its goal, which is to disturb the shit out of the audience.

Sadly, when it comes to Castle’s I Saw What You Did (1965), for the most part I wished the movie had no musical score at all. What should’ve been a series of tense, creepy and even frightening moments becomes a strange collection of scenes accompanied by music so inappropriate that it destroyed the experience for me. Was I watching a Disney movie or a horror movie?

What makes this all the more frustrating is that aside from the film score, the movie was more or less exactly what I expected it to be and just about everything I wanted it to be. A potentially wonderful introduction to a classic horror/thriller ruined. The premise itself is excellent. Slasher movie gold. Apparently there’s a made-for-TV remake that fails in all the ways that this original succeeds. I can’t win!

LAST WORDS:
I Saw What You Did deserved a 4, perhaps higher, but music is so important and if I’m too ignorant to see how it all gels together then so be it. But I believe, unless circumstance calls for it, that horror pictures should not be scored as if someone is trying to audition to write the theme tune for the next All in the Family spin-off! The movie even ends with a punch-line as if it were a sit-com, followed by extended laughter. You know, as one does…mere moments after nearly being throttled to death…
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Minutes to Midnight - Rating: * * (Reviewed by Chloe Davies)

8/5/2018

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‘Minutes to Midnight’ is a slasher horror about a group of friends who decide to celebrate New Year’s Eve at a ski lodge despite warnings from the sheriff (Richard Grieco) about an impending storm. They also come across a backpacker called Travis (John Hennigan), who is searching the area for his missing brother. Little do they know that meanwhile, a group of killers are finding their victims nearby.

Unfortunately, I found the film overall pretty boring. The acting felt incredibly flat despite managing to get some recognisable faces involved such as William Baldwin. The closest I got to excitement during the whole thing was when I realised Christopher Judge, who voices Kratos in my favourite video game ‘God of War’, was in it. However, his character was barely in it so what little interest I’d managed to muster up was short lived.

It might not be the actors who should take full responsibility for the bland characters, however. The script left a lot to be desired from the very start; exposition is dropped on you like a brick from the very first scene and lacks any kind of subtlety or sense of mystery. Not to mention the romantic history between Sophia (Sara Fletcher) and Michael (Bryce Draper), two characters I just didn’t care about, that’s attempting to bring some emotion to the film but if anything, it’s just annoying when it seems the only thing that defines Sophia’s character is the fact that she’s upset about Michael leaving her. I know it’s a slasher film, it doesn’t need to be complicated, but it wouldn’t hurt to allow the audience to care more about the characters in order to make the horror they experience hit the audience harder.

One thing I did like about ‘Minutes to Midnight’ though, is the costume design for the murderers. The mask that Angus (Aaron Aguilera) wears looks good and doesn’t look too derivative of anything I’ve seen in other films of this genre. The gore is also good, so these practical aspects of the film are the highlights of it.

Overall, I didn’t particularly enjoy this film because it didn’t seem to have much of a personality to it or anything special that made it stand out. Despite managing to put together a relatively well-known cast, the writing is what held it back the most and didn’t give the actors much to work with.
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My Friend Dahmer - Rating: * * * * (Reviewed by Louis Stephenson)

8/2/2018

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THE STORY:
Based on the book, My Friend Dahmer depicts the infamous serial killer’s final year at high school, before the killing started…

Ross Lynch is the latest lad from across the pond looking to shed that squeaky-clean Disney image. And he succeeds in leaps and bounds in comparison to his Teen Beach Movie (2013) co-star, Garrett Clayton who has only managed, most notably, the mediocre Don’t Hang Up (2016) and the derogative and ridiculous King Cobra (2016).

With Dahmer, Lynch doesn’t break character for a single moment. His eyes are dead and black like a shark. The guy is like walking Death. At times it can be a little funny in contrast to all the smiling and talking school-goers that surround him…until that creeping soundtrack puts things in perspective. A special mention for Dahmer’s mother, played by Anne Heche. She’s good at playin’ them crazy chicks!

The cinematography, for me, was on point: pensive, voyeuristic and intimate. Even beneath the spine-tingling synth, a melancholy tune would begin to play via piano. All combined I felt strong sympathy towards Lynch and his sad spiral, in spite of the flesh-melting of animal corpses, plans of murder and fantasies of a deceased lover. The power of film-making at work, people. Unfortunately it doesn’t change the fact that not only was Dahmer completely and utterly insane, but his murders were legendary. He was one sick motherfucker.

For a short while I was impressed with how the crew had done such a good job replicating the Dahmer family home. It looked exactly like the pictures and footage from books and documentaries I had seen up to now. Such a good job. Afterwards I soon realised they’d pulled a Sinister (2012) on us. Just like Ethan Hawke’s ill-fated real crime author, production had moved in to the house where it all happened. Considering what took place there…that is just a little bit fucked up.

Questionable locations aside, what I found to be the most disturbing thing about the movie was a particular moment that came while watching Dahmer’s behaviour at school. That moment when you think back on your own high school days and remember that you used to know a kid like that. Didn’t everyone? Did you take part in making fun of him? Where is he now? And who is that behind you?

If you know me, which you won’t, I am definitely not known for my interest in the Extras section of any DVD/Blu-ray release unless I am a huge fan of the movie. But in this case, the sheer lack of any Extras whatsoever is a head-scratcher. It’s not like there’s a shortage of books, articles and docs on this guy, but not even a ‘Making Of’? Come the fuck on, guys!

LAST WORDS:
Great acting. Great movie. Where the fuck are the Extras?
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