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Pyewacket - Rating: * * *

3/30/2018

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Based on one of the many witches found by Witchfinder General Matthew Hopkins in 1644, in a small village close to myself in Manningtree England, Pyewacket takes a different route in the story as a teen struggles to cope with the changes in her life and tries to kill her mother, you know that old chestnut.

Pyewacket follows the story of Leah (Nicole Munoz - Defiance) a occult loving, quiet teen who is struggling with the death of her father and a mother (Laurie Holden - The Walking Dead) suffering from depression. When Leah's mother up-routes them to a new house away from her friends, and after a spiteful row with her mother, Leah makes the rash decision to summon the evil spirit of the witch Pyewacket to kill her. Regretting her actions Leah panics and tries to find a way of stopping the witch, but the witch takes many forms playing with her mind in twisted ways until the final shocking finale.

Pyewacket, while a quiet film, draws you in completely. There isn't much new here, we have the usual creepy woods combined with the teenager who acts before they think and an evil witch who just loves a good head fucking, but what Pyewacket does well is not showing you everything. You only see a little bit of the witch on this film and in fairness that is all you need. There is no jump scares which to be fair is refreshing, instead what you get is creepiness. The way the witch comes out of the wall, the scene with Janice (Chloe Rose - Hellions) where all you see is the fear in her face with having to see the witch looming over her. These scenes show real fear something you just don't get in the jump scares you get in big budget horror now.

The character of Leah was also a major plus for the film. You could have easily gone more with a Janice character as the lead by the innocence and the kindness behind Munoz's performance made you feel for Leah. You understood why she wanted to do this, you want to just jump through the screen and stop her from making the biggest mistake of her young life! and that is a sign of good acting.

As a whole Pyewacket is a nice little supernatural horror. It is shot brilliantly and well acted throughout. The ending was a let down for me, it seemed a little rushed and it would have been nice to see it run for a longer run time. On saying that the ending rounded the story of nicely as well so maybe that is just me being picky. This is one that is worth a watch.
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Terrifier - Rating: * * * *

3/27/2018

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Clowns.....Creepy right? They are possibly one or the worlds biggest fears after spiders. We had real life moments where idoits would dress as evil clowns to scare people for fun, We have a horror legend rebooted last year in the form of Pennywise, but all of these white faced bastards can move aside for Art, the newest clown on the block, and he is more fucked up then all of these clowns put together. Welcome to Terrifier!

​Based on Damien Leone's short film from the All Hallows' Eve anthology Terrifier is the tale of two friends Tara (Jenna Kanell - The Bye Bye Man) and Dawn (Catherine Corcoran - Return the Nuke 'em High) at the end of a Halloween night of partying who cross paths with an evil clown with a bin bag full of tasty weapons. Not realising Art The Clown is a sadistic killer Dawn antagonises him playfully as the pair wait for food. Not thinking much of it the pair head back to Dawn's car to find it has a flat tire. As Tara and Dawn await Tara's sister to collect them. Tara, needing to use the bathroom heads to a near by building. This is only the start of a very long and painful evening as Art The Clown has come to get his revenge.

​So my first words after watching this film are going to be my first comments here....Well this was fucked up! Holy crap. Taking a leaf out of the book of 80's horror Slashers Terrifier is a welcome return to form for the sub-genre. As a horror fan I have been waiting for the next biig bad who could easily start a franchise of Slasher flicks and right here we have our guy. Art The Clown is truly terrifying. The costume alone sent shivers down my spine but combined with the face paint, the teeth and the fact the he doesn't mutter a word throughout the whole film Leone has created a genuine monster. David Howard Thornton is brilliant as Art, he portrays such brutal emotion and delivers some darkly comedic moments, one of them during a scene where Art is riding around on a small tricycle for no apparent reason. His creepy over the top smile, his wave to his victims, all works of acting gold. He is by far the best actor in this film.

Acting wise this does have a b-movie vibe to it, this is not a bad thing in my mind though. Films like Sharknado thrive on the B-Movie routes and I think Terrifier lives up to what it is trying to be, and that is 80's gore. Out of the main actors in this film (not including Thornton) Jenna Kanell stood out as an actress to look out for. She reminds me so much of a young Neve Campbell back in her Scream days.

​For the gore hounds out there you will not be disappointed. This film pulls no punches in the blood and gore department which is very evident in the cutting someone open from the genitals to the head in a slow and sickening moment that will make your stomach churn. This is what you want from a slasher film, and when done right, like for example how it is used in the Hatchet franchise, it makes your main villain so much scarier.

​Terrifier is one of the best 80's style modern day horror films I have seen in a long time. Art the Clown is a character I will not forget in a while. The acting at times is a little ropey from the supporting cast and there is some moments that could have used some on screen vomiting (I mean come on who wouldn't throw up after witnessing that cutting in half scene happening before your eyes) but as a whole this film is a must for all horror fans out there! 
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Game Night - Rating: * * * *

3/24/2018

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What do you do on your game nights? I would assume most people would grab a quick game of Monopoly or Pictionary or more likely nowadays pop in a copy of Mario Kart. Game Night takes the tradition of group games to another level, a level that involves kidnapping, clues and life lessons.

Max (Jason Bateman - Horrible Bosses, Ozark) and his wife Annie (Rachel McAdams - Mean Girls, Spotlight) are competitive, and I mean mega competitive. When Max's brother Brooks (Kyle Chandler - Bloodline, Argo) Max changes. Feeling intimidated by his older sibling he finds himself being judged by his group of friends and is even forced to move his beloved Game Night to Brooks' house. Brooks however has a different type of game in mind. He has arranged for a fake kidnapping to take place, the group will have no idea what is real and what is not and as he finishes explaining the rules....he is actually kidnapped, but this is not part of the game. The problem is Max and his friends actually think they are still playing a game and the group find themselves in dangerous and hilarious situations as the try to track down Brooks.

Game Night is full of twists....turns....blood soaked dogs.....and it is bloody hilarious. I am a bit hit and miss on my thoughts of Jason Bateman, one one hand I find him entertaining and pretty funny but then he goes and makes crap like Ozark and Identity thief, however Game Night is a return to form. Rachel McAdams goes back to her comedy roots too with some laugh out loud moments. One of the funnier moments of hers is the scene at the dive bar when she is swinging a gun around with three big criminal men laying face down on the floor, dancing about, mocking them as she thinks it is all still part of Brooks' game, not realizing the gun is actually loaded!

The supporting cast are also great in this. I was so happy to see Lamorne Morris of New Girl fame in this one along side Sharon Horgan and Chelsea Peretti all three huge comedy favorites of mine and all with their own moments to shine.

Game Night is laugh out loud funny with brilliant acting and over the top craziness. If you are looking for a film to go and see this weekend and you want a whole lot of laughs then check this one out.
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The Terrible Two - Rating: * * (Reviewed by Chole Davies)

3/23/2018

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‘The Terrible Two’ is a supernatural horror about married couple Albert and Rose Poe (played by Reid Doyle and Cari Moskow) who start noticing strange occurrences around their house on the 1 year anniversary of their two daughters’ deaths. For most of the film, however, it feels much more like a drama about the loss of these two parents and doesn’t focus on the horror very much, which I would usually appreciate but it’s let down by the writing. Nothing happens until the last 20 minutes or so and not just in terms of horror, but overall as a narrative. It mostly consists of the Rose being sad, and Albert telling her to go to work and move on. As for the writing, the dialogue does sound unnatural at times and somewhat robotic (which may partly be down to the performances) – for example, just how often the characters use each other’s names is odd. That might seem nit-picky but it’s something that really bothered me for some reason.

The performances generally lacked emotion, although there is one scene I particularly enjoyed when Rose is praying in her children’s’ room – it’s one scene where the emotion was believable. It’s the pacing that drags the film down the most; it takes what feels like forever to even get to the point where the characters realise there’s something wrong. However, that’s not too surprising since the first “scare” (which may be too strong a word) is a children’s shopping trolley rolling a rather short distance.

Overall, I didn’t enjoy this film and it feels way too long for something that’s only an hour and a half. It doesn’t do anything to make you care, as the writing isn’t the best it could be (although the drama and emotion it seems to be aiming for but doesn’t quite reach shows potential), and the acting doesn’t do it any justice either. It’s just flat and has virtually no emotion to make up for the lack of a plot. There’s a beginning and an end, but the middle just seems so empty.
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The Third Murder - Rating: * * * 1/2

3/23/2018

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A murder case brought back into the courts after after many years. Three versions of a story of the events and a Lawyer who wants to do what is right, this is The Third Murder from director Hirokazu Koreeda (NOBODY KNOWS, I WISH).

On trial for the murder of his boss 30 years previous Misumi (Koji Yahusho - BABEL, 13 ASSASSINS) decides it is time to change the story of the events that happened on that fateful night by telling his Lawyer Shigemori (Masaharu Fukuyama - Suspect X, Like Father, Like Son) he is innocent. With the install charges of Murder and burglary  disputed three new stories are brought to light. Did the murdered man's wife pay Misumi to kill her husband? or was it the disgusting actions of the dead man to his own daughter lead to Misumi killing him to protect the girl. Or is it the third murder story, the story that Misumi is actually innocent and had nothing to do with this murder at all. 

This movie shows yet again that Japan is one of the best film making countries in the world. The Third Murder is full of little twists and turns which, even at the films conclusion, will leave you with more questions. This is a film that makes you ask yourself, What really did happen on that fateful night. Koji Yahusho was perfect in this film, he plays the innocent looking Misumi so well that as a viewer you actually think he may be innocent. 

The story however is key to why this film is so well done. Hirokazu Koreeda brings so much depth to each character and directs the film so beautifully at times, for example the prison scene where Misumi is trying to feed a bird from his hand, it shows the humanity in the character that adds another layer of doubt that he did kill his boss. It is all so well pieced together.

If you like a good legal drama, or you are fan of British court dramas you will love The Third Murder.
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Paddington 2 - Rating: * * * *

3/18/2018

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I was not a fan of the first Paddington film. That was my thoughts before sitting down to watching this film for the first time during the initial cinema run. If you are a regular reading of Snakebite however you will have seen that Paddington 2 was one of my favorite films of 2017, but does it hold up on the tricky second viewing? or did the marmalade eating bear only give a one time watch performance?

Paddington 2 follows everyone's favorite bear from Peru as he goes out to work to get the money to buy a unique pop up book for his Aunt Lucy's 100th Birthday. What our loveable hero does't know is that the pop up book is really a series of clues to a hidden treasure. One person who does know this however is the sneaky Phoenix Buchanan (Hugh Grant - Love Actually, Four Weddings and a Funeral), a washed up actor who now stars in dog food commercials. Buchanan, a king of disguises, steals the book and frames Paddington for the crime. With Paddington now in prison the Brown family must solve the crime and prove Paddington's innocence all while our Marmalade chopping hero introduces his favorite snack to the folks in the prison .

So does the film hold up second time around? It sure does! Paddington 2 is a great example of British cinema with a huge array of UK acting talent like Downton Abbey's Hugh Bonneville, acting legend Julie Walters and the star of the amazing Oscar winning film Shape of Water Sally Hawkins. The film is fun, I found myself laughing out loud so many times and it has that family film vibe I feel is missing from alot of movies nowadays. Hugh Grant, a face we haven't really seen much of over the last few years, plays dastardly perfectly. It is so rare to have a villain who isn't scary but more of a cheesy sneaky no good-nick.

This is a must buy film, a perfect story and brilliant acting that will fill these cold freak winter days with the warmth you need. 
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Bucking Hell - Rating: * * * * (Reviewed by Chloe Davies)

3/18/2018

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‘Bucking Hell’ is a black comedy short film about 3 men competing in a game of Buckaroo to win the last life jacket on board the sinking ship they’re on (I guess drawing straws would have been far less amusing). Firstly, the performances in this are great, with Geoffrey Breton being my favourite. His character is quirky and sensitive, but also provides a theatrical element with his delivery. Television actors David Shaal (best known for ‘The Inbetweeners’) and Nicky Evans (‘Shameless’) also star, and provide good characterisation in such a short amount of time.


The set is also impressive. Although it is filmed in one small, if slightly claustrophobic space (which certainly adds to the sense of urgency at times), what you do see of the space is very much believable. In addition, the camera isn’t just static or simply cutting back and forth from each character. It uses quick panning shots to avoid being boring and repetitive and avoids being restricted by its environment as much as possible. The camera pans do add to the comedy as well, as it just about keeps up with the characters’ banter. My one criticism of the film is that it easily could have been a bit longer, and could have had a more satisfying conclusion since there is a murder mystery aspect to the story.


This is a very enjoyable and darkly humorous short that left me wanting more of the characters, and is definitely the best short film I’ve seen in a while. The set-up is instantly engaging and is well executed thanks to writer/director James Kermack. After seeing what he can do with this film in 15 minutes will make you want to check out his other projects, and it’s obvious he had a team of very talented people working on this with him. Everything from the writing, acting, set design and music is done well, so it’s an all-rounder that I would recommend to anyone.
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American Bigfoot - Rating: * * (Reviewed by Louis Stephenson)

3/14/2018

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THE STORY:
The world’s longest advert for the world’s worst Halloween costume! Basically what it says on the tin. There’s a Bigfoot out there in them woods a-causin’ a bunch of trouble in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere.

Somebody please tell me this is a joke. We’ve all seen movies like these. Movies that make you think: Why the fuck did they even bother? Usually this reaction is reserved for Hollywood remakes. But every once in a while it can be applied to movies like this, because as soon as you catch a glimpse of the beast, you’ll be wondering which children’s arts and crafts classroom its face was stolen from. I’m not kidding. The only thing that’s a bigger piece of shit than this movie is the fucking terrible Bigfoot costume.

Horrifyingly it doesn’t stop there. Just about everything that you could do wrong on a film production is done wrong here. Despite the inclusion of Zach Galligan, who I haven’t clapped eyes on since Hatchet III (2013), there isn’t a spec of detectible talent from the cast or the crew.

On the flipside, if this atrocity happens to find you in a more forgiving frame of mind, American Bigfoot can be quite a rootin’, tootin’ hoot to watch because of how laughably bad it is. From the fuck-tard acting, to the piss-poor camerawork, it’s an utter shambles. So completely shite that the only way to survive the full duration is to surrender and laugh your ass off.

LAST WORDS:
While this movie is certainly bad, it’s a shame that it isn’t bad enough to be as legendary as the myth itself. It does come pretty close though.
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Bad Match - Rating: * * * (Reviewed by Louis Stephenson)

3/14/2018

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THE STORY:
Harris (Jack Cutmore-Scott) has a great job, friends and a chilled home life. Except he uses online dating apps like takeout menus and the women he beds are treated like the empty pizza boxes that get thrown away the next morning. Unconcerned with the feelings of his sexual partners, he soon connects with Riley, played by Lili Simmons, who makes it disturbingly clear that she will not be thrown away like the rest of them.

Lili Simmons, I of course remember her from her ill-fated turn on the 2017 season of Ray Donovan. And even though Cutmore-Scott apparently turned up somewhere in the first Kingsman (2014) movie, I prematurely concluded that I had no idea who he was, but felt there was something very T.J Miller-ish about his performance. A cheaper substitute perhaps? Noureen DeWulf of Anger Management fame is a welcome addition to the cast, but is she possibly too young to be playing our tortured lead’s boss?

Riley’s attack on Harris ticks all the boxes as far as carrying out a cruel and chilling hate campaign. And although it is the stuff of ball-shrinking nightmares, they’re all predictable tactics that you’ve probably seen before on some CSI cop show or thriller-based court drama.

What really draws you in is the on-screen chemistry between our two characters, which they play quite well as the douchey Lothario versus the creepy stalker girl. Together they help the movie succeed with tension, rather than nasty surprises, which couldn’t be achieved without the slick scribings of writer/director David Chirchirillo, who also contributed his talents to the excellent Cheap Thrills (2013) alongside Trent Haaga, the true Killjoy.

Bad Match establishes itself as a morality tale for the Tinder generation. A generation I thankfully know fuck all about and want nothing to do with, considering most are more likely to get a brand new STI than a second hook-up! Still, as this movie portrays, you’re dealing with more than just potential diseases, you’re dealing with human hearts.

LAST WORDS:
While this movie was likeable, I felt that it sacrificed a lot of possibilities in favour of its fairly plausible twist ending.
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Selfie From Hell - Rating: * * * (Reviewed by Louis Stephenson)

3/7/2018

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THE STORY:
Meelah Adams, star of the original 2015 short, returns in this feature-length film as supporting character, Julia. After posting the web series ‘Selfie From Hell’ online, Julia appears troubled when visiting her cousin Hannah (Alyson Walker). Something sinister is stalking her. But when she falls into a coma, Hannah turns to the dark net for answers.

If you’re an impressionable soft shite like me, you will probably find this movie’s subject matter a little more unsettling if you’ve already had a passing curiosity of the mysteries of the dark net – also known as the deep web. Perhaps you’ve freaked yourself out by watching alleged true stories about hackers who have found their way onto the dark net only to be invited to watch men in elephant masks being murdered by table saws. Luckily this movie doesn’t take things there, remaining predominantly supernatural.

Much like Lights Out (2016), Selfie From Hell began life as a popular internet short. And just like Lights Out (2013), it scared the heck out of its viewers. And while it attempts to repeat the glory of that last powerful jump scare, it succeeds in bringing us at least 6 or 7 fairly decent, all-new scares, including 2 in particular which easily take its place. And those 2 are twice as scary as any scene featuring a needlessly over CGI-ed Pennywise flying at the screen. They had me looking over my shoulder. Like I said, soft shite.

One of these frightening scenes involves Hannah’s encounter with her dark net contact, the villain known as FearEater, towards the closing of the film’s second act. It’s very The Pact (2012) meets Black Christmas (1974). Unfortunately this heart-pounding altercation is the last time that either FearEater or the movie is scary as it descends into a no-thrills, robotic rush job with textbook psycho-babble, a disappointingly bad CGI creature and a baffling conclusion.

Meelah as Julia, stands out from the rest of the cast as she helps provide a good many of the film’s spooky moments. The rest of the cast, while pretty to look at, make you feel like you’re driving a reliable, sensible car. They do their job, but there’s nothing outstanding about their performance. They just help us get from A to B and so on without any fuss.

LAST WORDS:
This movie could’ve easily featured a group of vacuous and annoying high school teens dying off one by one as they are stalked by a creeping zombie that only appears on their selfies. Thank fuck it’s not! With strong scares, Selfie From Hell has evolved into a skin-crawler that fits in most of the worst elements that make the internet a dangerous place to be. The third act is nowhere near as strong as the rest of the movie but then again they rarely ever are!
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