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*Spoilers* Scream Park - Rating: * * 1/2 (Reviewed by Louis Stephenson)

3/29/2016

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THE STORY:
As employees of a closing amusement park get the beers in to bid farewell on the last night, they are set upon by a duo of masked killers looking to paint the rides red with their blood.

Low-low budget horror movie enthusiasts, welcome to Fright Land.  It’s closing time, but before they bow out, they give you one last fright: a slasher movie lover for slasher movie lovers.  The kills are interesting, inventive and well thought out.  Although, the hanging of the black security guard may have been an unintentional low blow.  Eek!  

Half the cast give passable performances, and of course, Doug Bradley easily steals the show with just one scene.  Sound and editing, as well as other technical aspects, could have been tighter, but that’s all part of the fun and games.  Sure we all want to be scared, but one should never take a slasher movie too seriously.

I can’t possibly spoil this for anyone, but the one thing that truly baffles me is that the big twist is the movie’s worst kept secret.  Be it on Amazon or be it on IMDb, it’s in every damn synopsis.  Was this detrimental to my enjoyment of the film?  I’ll never know, but I won’t lose any sleep over it.  Still, if this movie piques your interest – don’t read up on it.

LAST WORDS:
If you like your 80s-inspired, blood-drenched super soakers in the vein of say 2003’s low budget slasher, Halloween Camp then Scream Park could be the very thing to satisfy your lust for the shiny red stuff.  Admittedly not many come to mind, but despite any shortcomings, this may be the 2nd best amusement park based horror movie I’ve seen, behind the Charles Band-produced Ghoulies II (1988).​
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ZOOTROPOLIS - Rating: * * * 1/2

3/29/2016

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After a long run of very VERY good Disney animations it was only a matter of time that we saw a dip in the streak.

Zootropolis is Disney's take on the 80's buddy cop movie which sees plucky Officer Hobbs, The first ever Bunny to make it on to the force, on her first week of the job. Hobbs goes into the job with a world of excitement and promise only to be knocked down to traffic duty. While on traffic duty Hobbs meets Nick, a sly fox who tricks Hobbs into thinking he is a caring father while he is carrying out a hustle.
Hobbs, who is looking to impress her peers demands to be given a case, talks herself into taking on the case of a missing otter while at the same time putting her career on the line. With no leads and her fellow officers not wanting to give her the time of day Hobbs teams up with Nick and the two find the case runs much much deeper.

Zootropolis (or Zootopia for our american readers) is basically a films made for adults in the form of a kids film, with several nods to films like 48 hours and The Godfather (the godfather scene actually using lines from the classic film) and we even got a Breaking Bad reference.....in a KIDS film.

I personally found myself getting bored in points and in a cinema full of families the film got little in the way of laughs. I found myself losing interested in some scenes which dragged on a little longer than needed. and this is an adult saying this so if i'm losing interested then there will be alot of kids who will feel bored. However the film was a good little watch. The voice casting was spot on and the characters gelled well. I love the strong female lead and the life lesson of 'Don't let anyone tell you you can't be someone'. The kids will enjoy the characters and the adults will enjoy the more adult themes including the Naturist resort which sees animals wandering naked and doing naked yoga and naked sports which is a hilarious scene.

As a whole Zootropolis is a decent little film but as a whole doesn't live up to the Disney run we have been use to as of late. It was missing that little something special for me personally to make this a must watch again type of film but it has a good message and some good laughs in most of the right places so a decent watch for a family weekend out.
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Straight Outta Dudleyville - Rating: * * * * *

3/24/2016

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Back in my younger days I was introduced to the Attitude Era, the era of the more risky television and some of the greatest wrestlers of ALL TIME. This was my era and was also the era where I was introduced to The Dudley Boys, everyone's favorite table wielding tag team, and a team who have got better year after year.

Straight Outta Dudleyville follows the career of Bubba Ray and D-von from their childhood to their time at ECW through the great matches of the Attitude era including the Elimination Tables Match vs the Hardys and the amazing TLC Matches at Summer Slam and Wrestlemania and through the brand split era leading all the way to their exit from WWE and the more recent return in 2015. We also get so special guest speakers on the dvd with Taz, Raven and Tommy Dreamer all reminiscing on their with the Dudleys at ECW. 

As most WWE documentaries seem to just be the build to an event style i.e batista's return (which you can find in our older review sections on the previous site) it is so nice to see them go back to proper documentaries for a legitimate future hall of fame team.  This was a nice little eye opener, looking into the life of the brothers from different mothers. I was even shocked that they mentioned TNA, a second time for WWE recently which is pretty good to see. I loved the Dudleys in TNA, the Bully Ray run for Bubba was a perfect fit but it was a shame D-von didn't get a better push.

We are give two disks of matches including TLC at wrestlemania, the Tag Team elimination tables match at royal rumble, several matches from the ECW era and even the WWE title match which saw Bubba Ray take on Triple H.

This is a MUST for all Wrestling fans.


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Martyrs (2016 Remake) - Rating: * * * 

3/17/2016

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A few years back, when I started delving into the more extreme world of horror, me and my flat mate at he time decided to watch french horror film Martyrs. It was a humbling experience, a film you can't sit there and say "I loved that film I will watch it again and again", It is the type of film which makes you think, makes you say to your self "o.....kay......what did I just experience"

So imagine my surprise when it was announce that there was going to be an american remake of the film, it was indeed a moment of WTF why?!. It is a thing we see alot in cinema and it will never change, and I am even sure the US will remake A Serbian Film which will be an awful idea.

You can't not compare this version to the 2008 original, the feel of the two films are totally different and the overall feeling when the film is over is so so much different. While the original left me silent for a while this remake just left me thinking, 'on its own merits it was a decent horror thriller.

Martyrs (2016) is a thriller, done well and well shot but this is if you review this as a film which was never seen before. It screams modern horror viewer and is probably the only way alot of film watchers will experience the film. On saying this let me cover some of my thoughts of this film as if it was indeed a solo standing on its on merits film.

It was raw in the right places, the tortured soul of Lucie came across well in her later years. The build was suspenseful and points and the torture scenes were brutal yet watered down. The Anna character didn't gel with me unfortunately, coming across as your run of the mill horror character till the very end. The film felt rushed near the climax but works fine overall.

As a whole Martyrs is a very watchable film, you won't get the same feeling from the original film and the violence is very toned down , however many people wouldn't have watched it or possibly even heard of it until now. The start of the film is pretty close to the original however the closing half is much different than the 2008 version, which is in a way good and bad depending on how you like your remakes. I would suggest watching the original more but this is my opinion and if you are not a fan of French cinema then this is a good way of catching the story but why wouldn't you want to watch a french horror masterpiece is beyond me.
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Curtain - Rating: * * * (Reviewed by Louis Stephenson)

3/16/2016

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THE STORY:
A portal in the bathroom wall of Danni’s new apartment has a penchant for devouring shower curtains. But where do they go? And why? New friend, Tim seems determined to help her find out.

Although proceedings begin with what could be a nasty but corny creature feature, the story quickly flips things on you, and what you are really watching is a sci-fi mystery. Thanks to British mini-budget indie flicks such as Ben Hopkins’ The Nine Lives of Tomas Katz (2000), I have a soft spot for the weird and wonderful. Still, if you’re a fan of your Ghoulies and your Critters, you may experience the sweet pang of nostalgia when you catch sight of the little creatures that lurk beyond the portal.

The look of Danni’s apartment works well as it’ll put you in mind of that first shitty place you ever rented. Just a place to sleep, nothing more; a place where personality, joy and white paint go to die – and all you want to do is get the fuck out. It’s certainly a great setup for a feeling of uneasiness.

I felt the dynamic between Danni and Tim at times broke convention where the roles of masculine and feminine are concerned. While Tim is afraid of living his dreams, is readily willing to believe in the fantastical and makes an ultimate sacrifice for love – Danni is headstrong, makes rational decisions and seems to quash any feelings she may have for Tim.

LAST WORDS:
Despite the simplicity of this film, it manages to fill in its 74 minute running time nicely, but at the same time I can’t help thinking that it may be better served if it were condensed into a charming little short. Regardless, the two leads play well together and this oddball movie was a much-welcomed break from the discouragingly sub-par horror that has come out on DVD this year so far.


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The Unfolding - Rating: * 1/2 (Reviewed by Louis Stephenson)

3/16/2016

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THE STORY:
Tam and Rose drive out to Dartmoor to investigate the legends of a haunted house.


It’s so very easy to spoil a good thing. Ignoring the fact that this is yet another run-of-the-mill found footage movie about a haunting, I bought into the chemistry and flow of the two leads, Tam and Rose, played by Lachlan Nieboer and Lisa Kerr respectively.


And then Harvey happened. Lumbering into the frame like that drunk twat that nobody wanted to invite on the night out, but they have to because they feel sorry for him. His acting is almost as terrible as the decision to give him a sob story. Things only get worse when he is attacked by the entity. One word: Dire.


Eventually we are introduced to the badly wardrobed Professor Chessman and medium Muriel Roy, played by Robert Daws and Kitty McGeever – at which point I just have to throw my hands up and admit that after 3 attempts at watching The Unfolding, that I myself began unfolding. So wearied was I by this unoriginal boring-as-balls movie that I had trouble telling the 2 characters apart.


Like all found footage films the last 10 to 15 minutes or so descend into complete and utter chaos – the usual O.T.T screaming and running while we catch glimpses of piss-poor special effects tacked on here and there like worn out bicycle stickers.


LAST WORDS:
This movie would be far better off without its unremarkable supporting players. They are just extras that an audience will not care for and therefore cannot fear for. Further proof that the British should not do found footage!
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The Lesson - Rating: * * * * (Reviewed by Mark Goddard)

3/3/2016

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Plot: Fin and Joel are two teenage wasters running wild. But they get a taste of their own medicine when a teacher at the end of his tether decides to teach both schoolboys a lesson they will never forget.

Lets be honest here for a second, kids nowadays (teenagers mostly) are little fucking shits. We all know it, we read in the papers all the time about the little hell beasts beating on the elderly, vandalizing things and, more closely related to this film, being to dicks to teachers to the point of violence.
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The Lesson is a film which takes all that teacher student aggression and turns in on to the students telling the little shites not to FUCK with teachers...... unless you want to be kidnapped and tortured into learning English Lit.

I really enjoyed The Lesson, it is a mix of thriller and mild torture horror on and indie budget which does so much more than bigger budget films do. The Lesson is...well an actual Lesson. Its a lesson of unlocking your hidden potential of the individual. It shows that not all kids are born bad but the events that happen around them can model a person to be what they are. Fin (played by Evan Bendall) isn't particularly a bad kid, his mother tried to bring him up well and he has a kind soul hidden deep down, a intelligence which Mr Gale (Played by Nigel Slater sound alike Robert Hands...No seriously it is eerily similar) plans to torture out of him. On the other side of the coin Joel is a little shit and got what was owed to him from Mr Gale!!
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This is an intelligent torture horror with reference to classic literature so viewers may not get and this works so well in the films favor. You sympathies with Mr Gale who just wants one student to unlock their potential, something so many teachers must feel.

The acting is okay, the characters who need to be good are good, Bendall, Hands and Coltart play their roles perfectly. The only real complaint is the final 10 minutes could have been cut in my personal opinion, however I suppose it is a good thing that it isn't your usual 'survivors walk away, fade to black' kind of ending either. Ruth Platt has given us an amazing film, a true thriller with a lesson to give. A great debut feature film and I am excited to see what else she has in store.
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Cop Car - Rating: * * * * (Reviewed by Louis Stephenson)

3/2/2016

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THE STORY:
Two kids take off with a police vehicle, belonging to none other than the country sheriff, played by Kevin Bacon. But who is the real criminal?

My interest was always going to be drawn to what Jon Watts did next when he crept onto the horror scene last year as the writer/director of a sinister, jagged little movie produced by Eli Roth by the name of Clown. What he now presents us with is a Coen-esque comedy thriller, albeit with a distinct lack of violence; a trait not too uncommon with his debut feature, which skimped on the gore factor.

Cop Car had a few pleasant surprises in store for me, mostly in Bacon’s performance. He’s funnier than I thought he was, both expressively and physically. And he’s a better actor than I thought he was. He may have spent three years playing an alcoholic FBI agent with the weight of the world on his shoulders, but Fox’s The Following was as dramatic as it was violent, meaning most scenes were packed wall to wall with dialogue. It becomes too easy to forget that those skilled at their craft can convey an emotion or a story to an audience without saying a single word. And Bacon does it so well.

The two boys keep things eerily authentic. They are young. They are up to no good. And they are stupid. So fucking stupid. I’m not kidding. Their foolishness is nail-biting. Let’s just say that I am not fond of guns, and judging from how worn the edge of my seat is, I never will be!
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LAST WORDS:
I had hoped for a gorier sequel to Clown, to expand upon its mythology if nothing else, but it appears Watts has been bitten by the Spidey-bug as far as future projects are concerned. Will Cop Car be the last remnants of a talented film-maker before Hollywood devours his sanity? Will the power of silence be lost to the deafening roar of mindless action sequences and bland string-led soundtracks? Time will tell. Until then I had forgotten what a good villain Bacon could be. Thanks for the reminder, Mr Watts.
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Last Girl Standing - Rating: * * * (Reviewed by Mark Goddard)

3/2/2016

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Plot: Five years ago, a masked killer brutally murdered a group of friends. Since then, Camryn (Akasha Villalobos), the lone survivor, has struggled to reclaim her shattered life. Wracked with guilt and paranoia, Camryn leads a depressingly lonely existence until Nick (Brian Villalobos), a new co-worker, befriends Camryn and attempts to integrate her into his group of friends. Just when she might be ready to start a new life, Camryn’s past comes back to haunt her. Can Camryn ever have a life again, or is she destined to be alone? 

What happens when the final girl is left to go back to her normal life. After the therapy and the medication how does someone return to the life they once knew. This is the theme of this psychological horror. What we get with Last Girl Standing Isn't horror exactly but a true look into the psyche of the victim.

This is a slow burner so if you are looking for an out and out horror slasher film you will be sadly disappointed. However the film is a well rounded Psychological Thriller with a well thought out story and an okay cast. The ending could have gone on of two ways to be honest and the ending here reminded me a lot of Switchblade Romance (One of my favorite French horror films, i would highly recommend it), however it did seem a little short, if you was to cut some of the film down and extended the final act it would have felt less like a drag.

On saying this however Last Girl Standing is a solid little film. It takes a question we have all at some point wondered and placed it on the screen for your enjoyment. Camryn and Danielle were the stand out characters in this while the others were your usual bit parts. I would have like to know more about the rest of the group, to get more attached to them before the final act however it is what it is, a good Psychological Horror Thriller
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