After “smashin’ it” at a paintball tournament, the winning team take their women, their guns and their big hair into the mountains for a little harmless fun. One scream later they find themselves shacking up in a creepy abandoned house. Why? Who knows! The bad decision making never stops in The Zero Boys!
A decade later, from the man who blessed the cinematic world with Island of Death (1976)… comes a movie that may offend you with how dumb and inoffensive it is!
What is most worrying about The Zero Boys – aside from the guy who looks like he’s growing Bea Arthur out the side of his head – is that while it plays out like a Friday the 13th (1980) spoof, at one point it actually believes itself to be smarter than the Friday the 13th movies. Which would be quite possible, except the main reason for this gross misconception is that the villain is taking his sweet time in the dispatching of his victims. Though Mastorakis believes this will create great tension and suspension – where there is none – in actual fact, it’s an absolute nightmare where the viewer is concerned as these characters are even more annoying than the half-witted disposable teenagers they appear to be parodying, and the news that they will be living even longer brings us no comfort.
The TV, chair and camera in the nearby barn is certainly a curious setup. Curious in that it puts one in mind of Videodrome (1983)…if Videodrome was made by fucking hillbillies!
For some reason this schlock is touted – in part – as ‘action’. A thriller? Maybe. But action? Nope, sorry! Mostly it carries the stink of a slasher movie, and a bad one at that. I’ll give them one thing, though. At least they had the sense to pack all those guns!