They delayed this movie, which allowed The Marked Ones spin-off to introduce everyone to the time portal concept. And what’s the result? The spin-off turns out to be better than this legit sequel, and we are left with a shitty, boring conclusion to an otherwise interesting franchise that deserved a much better send off. What a fuck up! Ha!
If only more horror sequels had the Sharknado franchise’s work ethic of trying to make everything bigger, better and crazier with every new instalment. The trouble here is I think they skipped a few movies. I would call this movie ludicrously bad, but somehow I believe that would be mistaken for a compliment. So like Nancy did with Freddy, I turn my back on this redneck, piggy-fucking franchise. I take away all its energy. And as it continues to terrorise the world, to me it will be as good as disappeared.
No matter how cheesy this movie got, it could have been saved by the use of practical special effects. Instead the CGI is probably among the poorest I’ve seen this year. Fake as fuck and lazy. The movie is pretty piss-poor to begin with. There was just no room for that dodgy cartoon shit.
If you fancy a pretty light show go to a tower. In Blackpool or Paris, it doesn’t matter which. Just don’t watch this shite. Apart from all the pretty colours, this director has no fucking clue what he’s doing. Oh, and most of the actors are annoying as fuck.
This fucker gets just about everything wrong. Even the music feels disastrously out of place, never mind the consistently irksome cast or the desperately unfunny “funny” moments in the script. It may take you all your moral strength not to shove this shit into the microwave.
How are a cute couple supposed to feel isolated and cut off if more and more of their friends and acquaintances keep showing up at the damn house??? What begins as a promising and spooky tale is quickly destroyed by the waddling in of some feckless fuck with the acting abilities of a goldfish – post-flush! The atmosphere goes straight out the buggaring window from then on.
Somehow, somewhere, somebody decided that it would be a good idea to make a movie in which humans act like primates. Believe me, this is no fucking Planet of the Apes. I would beg anyone to realise that the “wouldn’t it be funny if” idea you had the other night while pissed up at the local dive pub is far from the level of genius you might believe it to be!
This film had a promising premise, but the execution is ridiculously poor. The lead’s performance is up to scratch, but his efforts are drowned out by the sheer awfulness of the supporting cast and special effects that are such bullshit, this project would’ve been better off as an animation picture.
The concept surrounding this movie and how it links in with the original movie is actually an interesting selling point. The result however is an awkward hour and however many minutes of lame acting, utter dog-shit quality dialogue and a main actor who is entirely unlikeable – the character, not the man himself – and who also inspires no sympathy whatsoever. The crazy ending, however, wins him a point or two.
This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. The man who made this, directed, wrote and cast himself in the main role. He just about does 1 of these jobs right. And no, I’m not talking about the fucking directing or the acting. If you’re a filmmaker and you can’t make a movie better than this – quit now! If you’re a reviewer and you fake-like this movie, it’s most likely that you have no one’s respect…