This is just one in a blur of highly boring British supernatural house in the country movies. Nothing new to see here. Utterly forgettable. It’s not even interesting enough to diss with dry expletives.
This movie has almost all of the tell-tale signs on how not to make a movie on a budget. Not only is the acting terrible, but the film never loses that feeling of not actually knowing what it is or where it’s going. If the makers ran out of script and just started making up shit as they went along, it really shows.
This is one of those perplexing moments where the UK tries to get in on the found footage fun. This is also one of those moments where the UK realises why it shouldn’t bother. Surprisingly enough the teenagers are better at acting than the adults.
Everything about this movie is just wrong. Least of all is why Gina Holden is still trying to make her career actually happen. Devon Sawa just isn’t, and never could be a credible ‘man of the cloth’. The possessed makeup is naturally reminiscent of Regan from The Exorcist, but unfortunately it differs just enough to make her look like an inbred backwoods hillbilly cannibal. And don’t get me started on her voice. I don’t really care for text-speak abbreviations but WTF… As in, WTF were they thinking???
It’s amazing what they’ll green-light sequels to, let alone produce in the first place. A very bland story that would have been better off released back when American rip-offs of Japanese ghost girl movies were still in fashion. This is the 2nd appearance of Olivia Cooke on the wrong side of one of my Top 10 lists. That said, her saving grace is that her co-star Bianca Santos has to be one of the worst actresses I’ve ever seen.
I don’t care if it’s satirical. I don’t care if it’s self-parodying. I don’t even care if it’s meta. It’s the movie that nobody wanted and it doesn’t even deliver on the promised spectacle. Believe me, or don’t believe me, but the end result/execution of a prison made out of a great human centipede is actually hugely disappointing, not to mention boring as fuck.
I don’t know about you, but a Brian Krause credit is usually a good sign that what I am about to watch is going to be an extreme turd. And what do you know, I was right! There’s just no point whatsoever to this movie. Completed almost a decade after its original, does anyone even care anymore?
Because of its terrible execution this movie turns out to be dull as dishwater, despite having more than enough elements to keep things thoroughly interesting. There is no pace, no tension, nothing.
Never mind the Aussie humour that only people who watch Home & Away or Neighbours understand. Just about everyone on the planet should have got the memo that we are decades past movies where the monster is clearly a stuntman in a shitty Halloween costume. The climax is a pathetic school playground-style chase sequence. Sometimes you can get away with saying your project is meant to be tongue-in-cheek. But in this case it’s a cheap way of saying you’ve produced a steaming pile of ineffective crap and it’s too late to change it now.
If you need to ask why this movie is the worst horror of 2015, I can only surmise that you have been fortunate enough never to have witnessed it. It’s badly-made, badly-acted, badly everything. Generally an all-round sad and sorry piss-poor hour and a bit of humiliation and torture. And that’s just for the viewer! All I can say to its makers is, “Fuck off back to film school and get a refund!”