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LOUIS STEPHENSON'S TOP 5 BEST HORROR MOVIES FEATURING THEME PARKS

4/7/2016

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Fueled by junk food as well as a grossly misguided notion to be less mean, I stated in my last review that Cary Hill’s Scream Park (2015) was perhaps the 2nd best theme park-based horror movie I had ever seen. To say that this was a howge fuck-up would probably be the understatement of the century. In my utterly weak defense, I honestly had not seen that many up to now and Cary’s movie stands but a scalp above today’s more recent piss-poor offerings, such as the truly awful Carnival of Fear (2010). Lame excuses aside, to atone for this absent-minded silliness I present to you my Top 5 Best Horror Movies featuring Theme Parks, and I can assure you that Scream Park is nowhere to be seen.

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5) AMUSEMENT (2008)
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I’ll admit, the connection is a tad loose, but what is a theme park top 5 list without the mention of a clown?  Mixing different versions of ‘The Babysitter and the Man Upstairs’ urban legend, this segment of the movie makes for quite the chilling home invasion story as well as being one of the freakiest horror movies featuring killer clowns.

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4) FINAL DESTINATION 3 (2006)
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Not the best in the series, but it’s certainly better than part 4.  The staple premonition sequence takes place on an ill-fated roller-coaster ride whose mascot is voiced by none other than Candyman’s Tony Todd – also an on and off regular in the franchise.  It’s good colourful fun, while also giving us a more tangible reason to be afraid of stepping into a theme park.

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3) HOUSE OF 1,000 CORPSES (2003)
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Rob Zombie’s directorial debut gives us a spooky attraction in the form of Captain Spaulding’s Museum of Monsters and Madmen.  The scares are shoddy, ineffective and funny – as intended. Best of all, the lighting is ghoulishly wonderful.

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2) THE FUNHOUSE (1981)
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Tobe Hooper’s eye for the bizarre and unsettling rarely falters, and Funhouse is no exception thanks to its circus-sideshow freaky killer.  It doesn’t hit your stomach like Eaten Alive, nor does it make your skin crawl the way Texas Chainsaw Massacre does, but it’s still deserves its place among the director’s best works.

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1) GHOULIES II (1988)
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Second only to Joe Dante’s Gremlins, one of horror’s most-loved brood of nasty little creatures takeover a funhouse at an amusement park.  Not only does it feature a super-sized Ghoulie, but it was directed by none other than producer Charles Band’s own father.

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