Not another zombie comedy book I hear you say but wait this at least has some originality. Told in first person this story follows John in Runcorn as he tries to save his daughter and rendezvous at his brother’s house. Many first person stories tend to have an overconfident main character but not this one. John has an awful gag reflex he is out of shape and he really hates mayonnaise so much he will go completely off topic just to state his dislike (mind you if your job was testing mayonnaise you would get sick off it easily). John is really likeable and his narration including how he describes events is the highlight of the book even more than the humorous but simple plot. There's little horror in this book until they are trapped in the school but even then there's comedy. For instance when trapped in a car surrounded by zombies John farts and the characters debate opening a window.

However some of the comedy is too slapstick even if the images are funny like when John stands on a zombies head and starts wearing them like slippers before kicking the head off later as a weapon. Another problem with this book is it doesn't just follow John's story but several other people in Runcorn whose stories doesn't even interact with his (at least in this book) and aren't as exciting. In the worst of the non-John chapters a shop keeper fights zombies from behind his desk in a cliché way and stupidly keeps his shop door open at the end.
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Overall this was an amusing book because of John's narration and the comedy. But it's too silly in places and the chapters on other people let the book down meaning I can only give it 3 stars. 
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One final note on this book is based on a small Web series which unfortunately deviates from the first book as the brother is helping John find his daughter but is still worth a watch.

“During the late summer of 1945, as a battered Germany began to lose the war in Europe, a squad of green Army artillery spotters are captured out in the open by German soldiers. Resigned to their fate to wind up in a POW camp, they are astonished when a series of lucky events frees and dumps the squad, lost, and deep in the heart of war torn Europe. The American men's luck quickly runs out when they wander into the battered remains and what appears to be an abandoned walled village. Once inside, the village proves to be anything but abandoned, and the men find themselves fighting for their lives and unable to escape an elaborately engineered trap, by an army of an unknown enemy...”

War. Huh. What is it good for?

Horror and war horribly go well together because they’re pretty damn similar. Wellins carves the two well, creating a realistic, if fictional portrait of life during the final stages of World War two in battle ravaged Europe.

Alone and lost deep behind enemy lines, a small group of American soldiers find themselves in a deserted town after their mission goes disastrously wrong. Up until this point it already feels like a fantastic war novel as the perils mount up and the stakes get higher, what else could possibly go wrong?

From the shadowy ruins of the town, a mystery unfolds, a horrible, hidden reality that starts to pick off the men one by one, a truth born of the war that is both a tragedy and an atrocity.

Wellins writes well, the book is incredibly well researched and he really immerses the reader in his hellish world, letting them taste every bullet, every mouthful of dirt, every drop of dirty rain to great effect. He makes the situation desperate, then continues to turn the pressure up full and chips away the sanity of the soldiers as the situation becomes more maddening.

I thoroughly enjoyed Wellins’ previous novel “Upon my Worst Enemy” which follows a similar pattern of soldiers in a dire situation and twists their predicament further, and “Whispers from the Gods of War” is equally as engrossing. There’s a filmic quality throughout, a sense of pathos and you really feel the characters, no matter which side they’re fighting for. Imagine Saving Private Ryan and Children of the Corn, but infinitely more bloody and creepy, you’re not even half way there.

Even if you’re not a fan of war novels, this is an exemplary horror novel in its own right, and I’m surprised Wellins isn’t widely read. Please change that.

Five stars ( and a purple heart)

Durr duh...
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Since before the dawn of man, sharks have plagued the nightmares of those that dream. When the big daddy Jaws was first published, the profile of these graceful beasts skyrocketed (for worse, then better) and the predators became a token bad guy of the deep.

So what do you do with a shark tale? It seems to be the same old tale; shark eats people. How do you keep that as fresh as Grimsby fish? As long as you stay out of the water, the shark can’t get you, right?

Sharkpunk takes the classic marine villain and twists it, bringing us a boatload of wholly original tales, none of which are the same (although characters named Bruce do appear several times for Spielbergian reasons). There’s no Shark as Slasher horror, which is what we’ve been fed for the past 40 years. This is modern horror, so science takes centre stage in some of the stories, with genetic modifications playing a part in several of the tales to great effect (Spetsnaz trained lady shark assassins anyone?). In this post modern world of ours, we long to look beyond for a perhaps saner reality, bizarro can help, especially if it involves... MAFIA SHARKS! Can it get weirder? Of course it can, as Shark Cop 2: Feeding Frenzy merges bizarre and buddy movie into one beautiful, blood filled massacre. The final tale, You are the Shark, is fine tail/tale to end on; subdued, tragic and funny, as a young girl seeks solace in an arcade game to escape the reality of her home life.

Space Sharks, Sharks vs Samurai’s, imaginary sharks (or are they?), sharks as personification of a serial killer, the list goes on. If you like sharks, you’ll love this. Original tales each as different as the next. If you love short horror stories, especially a themed anthology, then Sharkpunk might be worth you dipping your toe into. Already I’m hoping for volume 2, but this time, they’re gonna need a bigger book....

A variety of voice actors keep each tale fresh, so as that you don’t become bogged down with the same voice for each tale, making each tale seem even more unique. I can’t recommend this production enough.

fin

Linda Angel brings us 20 short tales that are both lyrical and fascinating, tumbling prose that doesn’t come across as flowery, but rattles many cages, ranging from debates on suicide hotlines to the maternal horror of motherhood, time travel and many a social awkwardness. Each tale is equally disturbing as Angel continues to ply the reader with wonderful verse leading to (often) horrible Dahlian twists that hit you like a hoof to the face. Angel disturbed me far too easy, as she cuts close to the knuckle, paring back uncomfortable layers to reveal human truths we wouldn’t like to admit, because the truth is cold and hard and something we don’t digest well. But she doesn’t care what you think. This is her truth, the stories come from the heart, and you can tell.
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When you pick this up, don’t expect blood and guts and brains on the wall. It’s not that kind of horror. It’s every day horror that most of will experience at some point in our lives. Death is involved, as is the dissolution of love and relationships, themes that we can all relate to when they get deep and dirty beneath our skin and we try our darndest to scratch them out, to no avail.

If you want something new, something fresh and original that’ll poke you in the feels when you least expect it, I suggest you take in “Stranger Companies”. It feels personal, but aloof, serious but laughing at the foibles and contradictions of humanity; the words hit hard, but in the next sentence you’ll find yourself laughing at a humorous turn of phrase, a black comedy blade dripping with acid that cuts us deep.

Highlights for me included the opener “Venus on the side”, which takes you by the hand, leading you down a familiar stalker tale before knocking you over with a far more disturbing reality. “We Take Things” explores one man’s sense of loss when he loses his mobile, showing us the truth about how obsessed and dependent we all are on our slave bracelets. It’s uncomfortable but true, revealing what we’re missing when we’ve got our head stuck in a screen. “Deathsmell”, the final tale takes us close to death as a suicidee take the debate of whether or not to end it all to the suicide hotline, and ends up finding the heart he needs in his life.

Some might feel that these tales/stories/experiences might leave them feeling awkward, others will lap them up. Happiness is a truth, but so is sadness these are things that every day you and me’s have to deal with. Love ends. Love starts, love leaves us and we leave it. These are stories for after the rain has stopped pouring and the coffee has gone cold and our lovers have left for the very last time. They’ll make you think, which is what stories should do, they shouldn’t just entertain, a good story changes you. These stories will take a knife and empty you in parts, leaving you wanting to be filled with a hope you’ll need to find yourself.

Original, but horribly familiar, these stories will amuse and haunt, disturb and raise both an eyebrow and a smile. 

Horror for young kids is woefully under represented nowadays. Kids love dark stories, parents might not like that, but my two squeal with glee when I tell them a story in which kids are threatened by something wanting to eat them (sometimes, they do get eaten when authors are brave enough to touch on that taboo), although they are just as happy with a story about a teddy bear going on a magical adventure. Kids generally like anything parents put in front of them (except broccoli), so telling kids scary stories is a good way to introduce them to more adult themes.
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“I want to be a Monster when I grow up” is a perfect little book to take your little ones out of their safe zone and bring out the bogey men whilst maintaining the mirth and not scaring the kiddies too much, all whilst delivery positive messages about eating your greens, going to bed and being nice to your family. The book is Americanised, though changing Mom for Mum is no great feat, and I even changed the name of the main character to that of my son to make it more likeable and involving story.

The familiar monsters that plague the pages are competently illustrated and there’s just enough detail to make them scary, but not threatening. If you fancy a tale that’s little out of the norm for children, but still maintaining a positive message throughout, you won’t go wrong with this for your little terrors.
 
5/5

GENOCIDE by David Bischoff The alien queen is dead, the hive mind left to flounder... and on a world bereft of its leader two strains of Alien divide their forces for world-shattering, acid-drenched war. On Earth, in the wake of alien infestation, athletes are flocking to humanity s Goodwill Games. But some come with a deadly new tool: a drug called Fire, distilled from the very essence of the Aliens body chemistry. The military wants it. Pharmaceutical kingpin Daniel Grant wants it. But the only place the essential ingredient can be found is on that terrible world, convulsed by Alien holocaust. ALIEN HARVEST by Robert Sheckley Royal jelly, the most illicit of Alien by-products, is keeping Dr Stan Myakovsky alive. A once-famous scientist fallen on hard times, Stan is fighting off the repo-men and trying hard to patent the cybernetic ant that will reinstate his reputation. Julie Lish is beautiful, mysterious, and totally amoral. She has a plan so outrageous that there might be one chance in a million to pull it off. Together they make an attempt to grab the ultimate treasure royal jelly from an Alien hive.
 
Right, I’ll confess, I’ve not read volume 1, although now I wish I had. Aliens invading Earth. Tick! I love the Alien franchise (well, most of it) and I’ve read a few of the Dark Horse comics, which filled the gaps between the films.
 
So Volume 2 kicks off, the Aliens have infested earth, but the battle still rages and the troops are winning, pushing the aliens back and grinding their numbers down. Both novels follow a similar timeline and even similar plotlines, which detracts from the binding of these stories together. It’s like they gave two writers the same outline involving a trip to an alien planet in order to steal “Royal Jelly” a substance created by Alien Queens, which also happens to have fantastic medical properties, quickly becoming the most sought after substance in the galaxy.
 
“Genocide” involves a troop of marines led by the beautiful, though battle weary Colonel Kozlowski, who leads her men (and women), along with a team of scientists and billionaire pharmaceutical kingpin Daniel Grant, onto an Alien hive world in order to pilfer some of that lovely, pure royal jelly. Naturally, things go tits up, as they always do in the Alien universe and people die in the traditional fashion. It all feels familiar, ticking off the tropes that made Aliens such a great film (and novel, I adored the Alan Dean Foster novelisation’s of the original trilogy.) Fans of Aliens will lap this up, wanting more. I’ve previously enjoyed the novelisation of “The Blob” by David Bischoff, and he captures the gore well. He knows how to pull people apart.
 
“Alien Harvest” again involves a trip to distant planet in order to pilfer some lovely “Royal Jelly” (sound familiar?) although this time it’s a dying scientist, a female thief, a couple of robots and a motley crew of convicts after some time off their sentence.
 
“Alien Harvest” starts out strong, setting itself out as a one last heist for some truly desperate characters. I almost forgot about the impending aliens for moment as the book became more about the characters than stereotypes being chewed up by shadows from the scenery.
Then the aliens do come. And people start doing weird shit that they full well know will get them killed. The last fifth of the book loses it steam a little. Things happen, but for no reason. I was loving the story up until this point, but as the action gets going I cared less and less for the characters did stupider and stupider things.
There is a cool thing, which I thought was woefully underused. Along for the ride is a brilliantly written Android named Gill who remains murderously devoted to his employer, but there’s also a robotic alien called Norbert, which sounds ridiculous, but is actually quite a cool idea, but used to full effect, which made me a little bit sad.
 
 
If you’re a fan of Alien series and need tiding over until “Alien: Covenant” (being novelised by Alan Dean Foster, YAY!), then the Aliens Omnibus series might be worth your time despite the similarities between them.
 
Game over man. Game over.
 
Genocide 4/5
Alien Harvest 3.5/5

Re-inventing a classic is a hard thing to do, especially a story so beloved as Alice In Wonderland, however Christina Henry has penned a perfectly crafted Re-Imagining so original and raw it is on the cusp of surpassing the original tale.

Alice is a dark, gritty and, at times, uncomfortable tale of Alice, a young girl who is being held in a mental hospital after being taken and almost killed by a man who also looks like a rabbit. The rabbit that haunts her dreams every single night. In the cell next to her is Hatch, a man who knows little of his own past. A master of the Axe and a man with a kind heart. After the mythical Jabberwocky escapes from under the hospital (freeing Alice and Hatch) the two friends are thrown into the middle of a twisted journey through the dark streets of the city to find a kill the Jabberwocky, while facing the most evil men to every walk the earth along the way.
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This is not your childhood Alice, and this isn't a wonderland you want to be lost in. Alice is very dark, you think the children's book was messed up! The things Alice witnesses are beyond evil and this is demonstrated with some well crafted foes for Alice and Hatch. The Walrus is horrid, Cheshire is twisted in a devious way and The Caterpillar is pure evil. This is one of the best fantasy novels I have read in years, a true dark classic to be. I have nothing bad to say about this book, it has the right thrills, the right scares and perfect storytelling. I can't wait to read Red Queen.

“What lurks behind that locked door? What do they keep in that biscuit tin? Why would two beautiful women really want to date the office sleaze? Are false teeth capable of jealousy?
A. S. Chambers provides answers to these questions and many more in this collection of short horror stories concerning such themes as vampires, cowboys, confectionery and dentistry.
Have a quick taste and see just what lurks in the shadows...”
 
At 96 pages, this is one of the shortest short story collections I’ve come across, but Chambers crams in nine tales of varying terrors in between the pages. For anyone after gallons of blood splat might find themselves disappointed, as this collection is more old school, Tales of the Unexpected type lore. Chambers writes well, keeping things light, with a wry, sophisticated humour, but maintaining a definite underlying sinister seam, which isn’t so mature as to alienate younger readers. Whilst I enjoyed each tale for different reasons, I felt Chambers undersells a few of the stories, than there was more to be said. But the author’s notes reveal that there is more to be said in subsequent and future stories.
My favourite tale by far, is the opening High Moon, which condenses a much more epic western horror tale into fourteen pages, whilst 53, Bell Court comes a close second, as a paper boy fears something that DEFINATELY lurks behind the door of his least favourite delivery.
If a more subdued, light hearted horror affair is your cup of tea, then you won’t go wrong with Oh Taste and See.

 

As comedy it’s the best book I've read with great events including Pete dying of a masturbation accident and comic views on life like how many shakes to do at urinal. The world is well described with minor charters and historical points like why the pub is called The Fox With Two Dicks (It used to be three dicks but during riot of 2010 someone nicked one). There are various pop culture references but there’s a running joke that they can’t use the official names for fear of copyright like breast breakers instead of chest breakers. The main highlight of the book is the method in which it is wrote as an unreliable narrator. He is tied up in a strait jacket explaining to the doctor how he isn’t crazy yet goes off on tangents like when he tells story of how his mum told him how many shakes he can do before it’s masturbation. At times he’s very exact on some details like 88mph to drive the car back to the future.  The contradicting elements and gaps in story (he has a habit for saying and then there were dinosaurs) also show that the author has put maximum effort into making the narrator unbelievable.
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However when you look past the amusing dialogue and set up there are several flaws. Firstly everyone seems sarcastic so hard to make people menacing. Secondly the plot is thin at points for instance how did shagging Thatcher cause dinosaurs to exist? Repetition of jokes like it's not Inception grate after a while. The book drags occasionally as there is so much dialogue and so little action with them attempting to fight the dinosaurs just once. Lastly the ending I felt was a bit of an anti-climax as makes of the story that he told seemed irrelevant and it was a bit predictable.

Overall at face value the book is amusing but a disappointment due to thin plot, repetition and too much dialogue. However when you add in the unreliable narrator element which is wrote really well the book is more interesting as there is a question of if you believe the bloke or not.

Grief effects us all in a variety of different ways. Some accept it and move on. Others are force to wallow in a dark mire that consumes them fully. The Grieving Stones concerns a group of some such individuals, as they head off to an isolated cottage in the middle of nowhere with a counsellor, in an attempt to come to terms with what they’ve all lost.

Mahon sets the characters up, gradually revealing little pieces of each individual’s grief, all the while setting the scene of the isolated cottage and the surrounding landscape, imbuing a sense of creeping dread that the characters find hard to wash off. The main character of Alice begins to wonder if the ghostly goings on are really going on, or worse; inside her sorrow wracked mind.

Combining the very real sense of loss we all feel at some point and the something more supernatural, Mahon has weaved a tasty little tale that strikes deep into the heart of the reader. We all lose somebody during our lifetime, the question is asked, just how much do we lose of ourselves, when we lose a loved one?

As usual, narrator Chris Barnes is on point with his reading, creating a definite voice for the cast of characters, making this less a reading, but more of a one man theatre. His voice work is fluid and I look forward to his next performance. If it was him reading the phone book, I’d listen.
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If you’re after an engaging, atmospheric novella, I suggest you pay a visit to The Grieving Stones.